Home on Friday night?

Well, there's only a few more days until Christmas. Six, to be exact. I'm still excited about it, but in a big way, I just want it to be over with. I mean, don't get me wrong - the lights, the presents, the family time - it's all great. But I'm not getting as 'into it' as I thought I would. I haven't even gone driving around and looking at Christmas lights yet. Of course, Michelle and I will probably do that the night she comes home, and probably Christmas Eve, but still. Things just feel so rushed this year. And I still haven't gotten my mom anything. But Michelle's helping me out with that, too.

What's really a bummer is the fact that my Christmas break officially started today, and I'm grounded. All because I came home a few minutes late Wednesday. So now, I'm grounded through Sunday. I can't see John at all, which is a serious bummer. Well, actually I saw him today at Bilo, but my parents aren't to know about that. Anyway, as of right now, I can't see him until Monday. Thankfully, my mom didn't take away my cell phone or computer privileges, so we can still keep in touch. Thank God for technology, eh?

This Christmas is certainly going to be emotional. For one thing, it'll be my last Christmas as a student in high school. My last one before graduation, before college. That's overwhelming enough. But then, there's Nanny. Her health has been on a slow, downward spiral ever since October of 2005, but things are happening more and more frequently these days. She just came home from the hospital today after having pneumonia (which, according to the doctor, she still has). That makes the second hospitalization for her in only 3 months. And the saddest part is that it's like she knows this is going to be her last Christmas. It's like she's holding on just a little bit longer, just to see her family all together one last time. But I guess I understand. She's 84 years old, and she's been through more than anybody I know, medically speaking - diabetes, open heart surgery, blindness, necrotizing fasciitis, heart failure, a mild heart attack, kidney failure...it's a miracle she's still here. But I'm trying to see things from her point of view. I know she has to be tired of all the doctor visits and prescriptions and needle sticks. But as tired as she is, she's not giving up. She's hanging on as long as her body will let her, and I'm not sure if it's for herself or for our family. Regardless, she's strong and she's still here, and that's exactly why I love her and look up to her so much.