Getting there is half the fun. I think.

Well, I’m going down the road on I-95, so obviously there’s no WiFi available. So I’m writing this on Microsoft Word, but I’m going to post this online as soon as I find some WiFi.

We’re still in South Carolina right now. We just stopped at McDonald’s for breakfast. It’s about 8:00, so I think we’re making pretty good time. We have a little less than 30 miles before we’re out of South Carolina. I ended up going back to sleep after we got on 385. I slept the whole way through Columbia, which is surprising since my dad was driving. But I kept waking up and going back to sleep hoping that the next time I looked at my phone, I would have a text message from John. I miss him like crazy already. I wish he was here with me. He gave me his bottle of Fierce cologne, and I’ve caught myself smelling it already. You would think I’m going away to college for four years or something. It’s just a cruise. It’s just a week. I guess I’m just disappointed because this vacation didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. And I know Michelle couldn’t help losing her job, but still. That’s basically why I’m stuck sleeping on the pull-down-from-the-wall bunk bed in my parents’ room. Kellie couldn’t afford to go, Anna just plain won’t go (in fact, I’m pretty sure she could care less about doing anything with me, let alone a cruise), and my parents wouldn’t let John go. And that would’ve made everything perfect. But I’m secretly hoping (well, secretly as far as my parents are concerned) that next year, for John’s 21st birthday, we can go on a cruise – just me and him. I know right now it’s a long shot, but I think we could make it happen. We’ve just gotta buckle down and get serious about school and make sure we obey my parents’ every little rule. I’ll even go to the main campus at Tech next semester. Well, no I won’t. But it’s a nice gesture to think about. My mom tried to tell me last night in the middle of yelling at me that she’s making me go to the main campus or the Simpsonville campus for school next semester to get me away from John. But that’s not fair. It’s college. It’s my choice. When she can earn my nursing degree for me, and when she starts paying for tuition, then she can tell me where to go. But as long as I have my scholarship, I’m going where I want to go.

Dude. This part of South Carolina stinks. And my orange juice is getting hot. Oh well. And only 5 more exits until we get to Georgia. I’m sure I can keep typing until then. I keep seeing signs for Shoney’s. I love Shoney’s. I’d like to stop at one on the way home. Maybe. My dad’s in the back seat snoring, but I might have to wake him up so I can get the power adapter for my computer. There are a lot of palm trees down here. It’s nice. I can’t wait to see what Miami looks like. I bet it’s beautiful. I just wish John could see it with me. The whole time I’m on this cruise, all I’ll be able to think about is how it would be if John were with me.

Welcome to Georgia.

Well, I guess I’m going to go. To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I can talk about for the next hundred miles or so that we’ll be in Georgia. But if I think of anything else, I’ll be sure to post again. And I might even get to post tomorrow. Who knows.

Happy travels, y’all.

Code fifteen or something.

I'm not sure why, but I felt this overwhelming urge to write a blog. So here I am, posting this. I just took a shower, and even though I feel a whole lot better, I also feel very sleepy all of a sudden. I'm not hungry or thirsty; I'm just sleepy. It's like I can't lift my arms or something. Weird.

Well, my second day of bookkeeping at work went rather well. I only had a couple mishaps, and they were nothing major. I balanced three tills, did three audits, and got one pick-up. I even rang up a few money orders. Bookkeeping is basically just a ton of information. There are a lot of codes to memorize, and a lot of procedures to remember, but once you get the hang of it, it's really not that bad. And apparently, bookkeepers are right under the managers as far as authority goes. So we get to tell the cashiers and baggers what to do. Not that any of the bookkeepers really do that. The only thing that bookkeepers at my Bilo do is tell people when to go on their lunch break, unless a manager says otherwise. Oh and cigarettes - those are a lot to remember. There are so many names and different kinds - it's going to take a few days to figure out where they are. My training is going so well though. Heather told Jim that I'm catching on "pretty quickly" with everything. The only real problem I had was today when my key broke when I tried to open the Service Center door. But even that didn't take long to fix.

I don't want to go on vacation. I know that sounds weird, but it's true. That cruise I'm going on in August is just getting in the way of everything. Why pack up a whole bunch of luggage and drive all the way to Miami just for a week of vacation? Just to come home, unpack everything, and go back to the everyday routine? Seriously. It's just stupid. I'm ready for school to start. I want to get my nursing degree so badly, it's killing me. I want to be a nurse so I can help little kids and make decent money and support myself. Anyway, I just feel like skipping the vacation and going straight to school. Oh, and if I weren't going on the cruise, I'd be able to go to the Green Day concert in Atlanta on August 1st. Yes, I'm still very upset about that.

I seriously feel like taking a nap.

Maybe my mom and I can watch Urban Cowboy tonight. That's like her favorite movie so when I found it at Wal-Mart the other day, I just had to get it for her. Maybe we'll watch it tonight, if she wants to.

Kellie and her mom came to see me at work today. They even stayed with me on my break and went shopping afterwards. It was good to see her. I've missed her lately. We just haven't been able to hang out as much as we wanted to this summer. But hopefully we'll get to hang out a little more before school starts.

I wonder what I'm doing this weekend. For the first time in a long time, the plans seem wide open. Last weekend, I figured I'd be hanging out with my mom since John had his wisdom teeth taken out. But I have no clue what's in store for this weekend. I'd like to go to the lake, since I have Saturday off, but who knows. John probably won't feel like going. His mouth doesn't seem to be getting any better. And I don't want him to lie to me and tell me that he feels like going when he doesn't simply because we'd planned to go. Plans can change.

I haven't seen Kenneth at work in a while. I miss him. And Taylor. I miss her too. And Jennifer - the new...ish girl. And Audrey. It seems like I haven't seen them in forever. But then again I've only worked three days this week. They must be just working different shifts these days. I'll be glad when my training is over so I can start working nights with all the cool people. And honestly, I hope that my schedule and the managers' schedules work out so that I work with Nick as little as possible. He's my least favorite manager. He tries to be cool, but he isn't. Even Shane is more tolerable than Nick is. So I just hope that I don't have to work with him very much. Jim is definitely my favorite manager. He was hanging out in the cash office joking around with me and Heather this morning, saying something about how she's the Groucho Marx of the 21st century because she says "seriously" all the time - seriously. But he's just so cool. And nice.

Anyway, I guess I'm going to go. I'm really not sure what I'm going to do right now though because my mom's gone, and my dad's busy working on something in his building...I think. I might post again later though, depending on my mood. Or what time it is. Who knows.

Oh, and there's a line from a Green Day song that I just love. It's from "Restless Heart Syndrome", off their new album. It says, "I feel like I've been crucified to be satisfied." I just love that line.

Ok, I'm going now.

Watching the sun set.

My cats are so cute. I'm sitting outside, just watching them play. It's funny how I used to be a dog person. I still love dogs, and I prefer them to cats, but cats are cool.

...yeah, I'm bored. My dad keeps saying that he's going to watch Dexter with me, but he hasn't yet. And I asked him if he was going to watch it tonight but he's already asleep. And I haven't heard from John. Guess I'm not going back over there tonight. I'll be glad when he's recovered from his wisdom teeth surgery. I haven't exactly been able to take care of him or anything. He won't tell me the truth when he's in pain, so I can't help him. And I didn't help him with the syringe today because if he won't even tell me he's in pain, why would he let me help him rinse out his mouth? Oh well. It's his body. I'll just be glad when he's better. He didn't even react when I said I was leaving today. That was unusual. But whatever.

I had a lot of fun with my mom and her friends tonight. I finally got to go on a "girls' night out", only it was more of a bridal shower than anything. And I tried some wine that was really nasty, and I tried sangria. It was really good. I actually had a full glass of it. Anyway, the girls were so funny. We laughed the whole time. And I finally felt like I was a part of something. It was just cool for me to finally be included with them.

I think I might wash my car tomorrow. It's getting kinda dirty. And I'd like to go get my nails done. But I'm definitely sleeping in tomorrow. I just wanna take it easy since I'm working 9 to 4 Wednesday and Thursday. I'm actually excited about work though, because I officially become a bookkeeper! I can't wait. I'll get to do so much more now. I'll actually have some authority too. And a lot more freedom.

The sunset was really pretty tonight. I've been sitting out here watching it for the last hour. It's beautiful. This is one of those nights where I really love where I live. It almost makes me feel like a kid again. Or like one of those nights a few years ago when I would go sit on the porch with Nan & Pop right after they moved into their new house. It's just so peaceful.

Anyway, I think I got my mom to agree to playing cards with me tonight, so I'm going to go inside for a few rounds of Rummy. Then I'll probably get back online or watch tv or watch a movie or something. I might even post another blog. Who knows at this point.

Just a possibility.

Maybe I'm not the person I used to be.

Maybe I really have changed. Maybe I have a reason, maybe I don't.

Maybe I feel like everything else has changed too.

Maybe I don't know why.

Something's missing from my world.

What if it's because I lost a girl who thought of me as her best friend? What if it's because she and her sister were taken from me in a car wreck? Maybe because I had to deal with losing someone I care about for the first time since I was seven? Oh, and don't forget about the part where the girl who said she was my best friend and that I was "the best sister she could ever ask for" pushed me out of her life to be with her psycho, bipolar, disrespectful, antisocial pain-in-the-ass boyfriend. John keeps saying I need to talk to her, do something about it. But how do you talk to the person who hurt you the most? She said she would never let anybody - especially a guy - come between us. But she did. Even when I made an effort to stay in her life, she showed no interest. It's not my fault, and I can't keep being the bigger person. She made a choice, and she chose him. I don't even know where she's going to college.

Y'know, I'm really not sure what to say at this point. A friend of mine - well, she's becoming my friend, I guess - is asking for some guy advice, and I can't exactly concentrate on helping her and getting all this stuff off my chest at the same time. Maybe another night.

But before I go, let me just say that I do love my boyfriend very much, and I don't take him for granted at all and he is the best part of my life. He thinks I'm not happy with him but that's completely wrong. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be half as happy as I am now. I probably would've fallen apart after Priscilla and Lydia's death had he not been there to get me through it. Especially since Anna has abandoned me. She never even called to see if I was ok - if I was handling it alright. I guess she had Stephen to comfort her so it didn't matter if I was ok. But John was there through everything. And he's here now. And sure, we have our little moments, but everyone does. And I think our stupid little disagreements (if you can even call them that) make us stronger. And hearing Kaylee talk about her guy problems just makes me feel even luckier to have such a wonderful boyfriend and such a strong relationship.

Maybe it's not so bad that things are different. I mean, sure, it'd be nice to go back to the way things were at Christmas or during the spring, but I think John and I have a lot to look forward to in the future. And I promise to stay optimistic about it. I'll do my best to stay positive and enjoy life. I have no reason not to.

Goodnight.