We've got a lot of time, and it sure feels right.

Wow, I haven't posted a blog in forever. Sorry to anyone who actually reads these.

For the record, a lot has changed in the few months since I've written. Actually, I take that back. Only a few things have changed. For one, I'm not a virgin anymore. And I don't regret it one bit. I'm actually proud of it. I gave myself to the guy I want to be with for the rest of my life. Regret was definitely not something I felt. If anything, John and I are a million times closer than we used to be. I feel like we're connected on such a new level. Every day, I feel more and more in love with him. Cheesy, I know. But I can't help how I feel about him.

Other than that, not much has changed at all, really. The only other thing that's changed is the fact that our luck has gotten a little bit worse than it used to be. Mine and John's luck, I mean. A few weeks ago, he accidentally hit my dad's truck with his car - in my driveway. It dented the bumper, but we got it fixed almost immediately. And now my dad practically loves John because we managed to get a brand new bumper for the truck. So everything's okay...right now. But our bad luck has seemed to show up elsewhere - like missing school assignments, work problems, that kind of thing. But we're used to it by now. Just another day in the life for us.

Oh, and another thing. I'm sure nobody I know actually reads this, so it won't matter who sees it, but a couple months ago, John came out to me as a bisexual. At first, I thought he was only joking, but then I realized he was being very serious. It bothered me in the beginning, only because I didn't understand it and I didn't know how it would change our relationship, but now it's something I love about him. It's just one more thing that makes him the unique person he is. We even make jokes about it. And in reality, I think him sharing that with me made us closer as well, since for a long time, I was the only one who knew. It was his "special secret". Now his best friend Halley knows and so does her girlfriend, but I'm cool with that. Halley's awesome. So is Katie. In fact, they're so awesome that they get to live together. I'm a little jealous.

I want to live with John more than anything. Every night when I come home and get ready for bed, it feels like he should be crawling into bed with me. And every time I'm at his house, in his room, I feel that way too. Especially today. We went upstairs and took a nap in his room. It was so...comforting. Of course, I nearly broke my back in the process of getting onto the bed, but that was an accident. In fact, it makes me laugh now because only I would fall like I did. Anyway, John and I took a nap together - and when I say 'nap', I mean sleeping, not anything else - and when he woke up to get ready for work, I stayed in his bed, and it felt like I was just staying at home so I'd be waiting for him when he got back. I wish it could be like that. But I'm praying that one day it will be. One day soon.

I'll be glad when we're out of school and ready to live together and have the cars we want and the life we've been dreaming of. We deserve it. Especially him. I just can't wait for it to happen.

Oh, and remember last summer, when I didn't get to go to Daytona with him and his family? Well, I think I might actually get to go this year. My mom keeps talking like I'm going. I just have to talk to my dad about it. Wish me luck!

And on the subject of summer, I can't wait for it to get here. I can't wait to go to Greenville Pickens every Saturday night, and go to the lake and go to Clemson and Mellow Mushroom. It's going to be great this year, I think. John's actually looking forward to it a little, and that makes me happy. It makes me feel a little more optimistic about our relationship. I'm sure we're going to have a blast this summer. I can already smell the racing fuel and the burning rubber. I can already feel the warm sun and the cool lake water. I can already taste the pizza. Besides, I want to make this summer as fun as possible because it's probably going to be a very long summer for me. Why? Because I turn 18 this fall. So all summer long I'll just be counting down the days until my birthday. But while I'm waiting, I want to have fun.

Anyway, I'm going to go. I just thought I'd write this while I felt like it. Just wanted to say how wonderful life is right now and how happy I am to be here, even when things go horribly wrong. But I'm going to go now so I can finish studying for my microbiology quiz. Maybe I'll start posting on a more regular basis in the future. But who knows. :)

Goodnight, y'all.