Happy as a clam.

I'm in English right now. It's a little boring tonight. But hey, isn't it always? Mr. Bailey really liked my outline for the research paper. And he was actually helpful when he gave me an idea for my thesis. I'm hoping the Internet connection I have is going to last long enough for me to post this. I'm not sure when we're going downstairs.

I did get to see John today, just for a little while. We ate lunch and watched House. It was nice. But at 1:30, I had to go back to the school to help Mr. Beitz for my NHS service hours. I stayed until 3:15. Then John picked me up and we went to the library so I could write my English outline. He seemed bored, and I apologize. But I had to get the outline done. After I finished, he and I went back to my house because I had to get my bookbag for English. Then we went back to the library so John could get his car and go home. Even though I didn't want to, I went ahead and came to the school after we left the library. I was here almost 40 minutes early. But that gave me time to print my outline. And now I'm just sitting here, listening to Mr. Bailey go on and on about MLA formatting and parenthetical citations. EW.

John's interview for camp is tomorrow. I have no doubt in my mind that he'll do great. He'll make such a good impression, I just know it. It's too bad I can't go with him though.

...Ok, I didn't get to finish posting at school. I'm at home now.

What was I going to say? Hm....

Ok, well. Honestly, I don't think I have anything else to say right now. I'm just gonna go talk to John on AIM. Oh! I watched Dirty Jobs tonight with my dad. Yeah, it was a nasty episode. Something about meat slicing and poop burning. I don't know. It was just nasty. Anyway, I'm leaving now.

Goodnight.

A little's enough.

Well, sorry I haven't posted in quite a few days. It's been a hell of a week. For John, more so than me. But still. It's time for a break.

For starters, everything was just really busy this past week - work, school, everything. And John had an ear infection, so everything was just twice as hard on him because he couldn't wear his hearing aid. By Friday, he was better. (Speaking of Friday, I had the privilege of waking him up at Naia's. It was nice. But unfortunately I had to go to work so I couldn't stay too long.) Anyway, we hung out Friday night, and last night we went out to eat with Kellie and Joe, which was really fun. We went to Applebee's and then to Wal-Mart just to goof off. It was great. But unfortunately, before all the fun - before I got off work, even - John's parents found out about his tattoo. They did NOT like it. Apparently, there was yelling and talk of John moving out and all this crap. It was ridiculous. So now his parents are completely mad at him and disappointed in him and they think he's immature and can't make his own decisions and it just really pisses me off. Oh, and they took away his car keys. So now he has to find a way to work and school. Which, it wasn't a problem today - I took him to work and picked him up. And I got to stay at Naia's with him and make macaroni for supper. But it was hard to completely enjoy it since his parents were still being difficult n' stuff.

They still haven't given him back his car keys, but luckily they didn't take away his phone or his laptop. And they told him he can't even go see Naia - his own grandmother. It just makes me so mad that his parents are being so ridiculous. John's 19 years old. He can make his own decisions. And y'know what? If he can't make a decision - if he's just not sure what to do - he can always turn to me for help. And he knows that. But it makes me mad because they're making him feel like he's a disappointment - like he's "pathetic", as he put it. And I hate that they're making him feel glad about being gone this summer. I know it's nothing personal or anything like that. He'll just be glad to be away from his parents. But I hate that moving to Clemson for 8 weeks is his only option. Well, his only option to be away from his parents AND earn more money. I hate that they make him want to be gone. No parents should make their kid feel like that - especially an only child.

I don't know. I think I'm just frustrated with everything. And John just reminded me that, since I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed this Friday, I'm not going to feel like going to Greenville-Pickens Saturday night. Now, THAT is a bummer. I just have a feeling my spring break isn't going to go as planned. Not that it had a plan to begin with, but I have a feeling I won't enjoy it like I should. I wish John could stay with me while I "recover" from getting my teeth pulled. I wish he could take care of me. But of course, my parents won't allow that. Maybe he'll get to come over Monday. And y'know, the only good thing about this whole teeth thing is the fact that I'll get a lot of sleep. I know they'll give me pain meds, so hopefully I'll get to catch up on some much needed sleep. I really, really hope so.

Anyway, I'm gonna go. I'm on the phone with my aunt, wishing her a happy birthday, but I'll probably be getting off the phone soon and going to bed. I can't really concentrate on anything. I'm just in deep thought about like, everything. i don't know. I just want everything to be ok, for once.

Goodnight.

It's my street.

Well, for starters............I GOT MY CAR BACK! I'm so happy about that. My mom told me after school today that it wouldn't be ready until Monday. So naturally, when I left school, I was all mad and grouchy and pissed off. And I was also in a mad rush because I had to be at work at 4. Well, I got to work fine, but I was still mad about my car. So on my break, I drove down to the Breakaway Body Shop to see if maybe it was sitting outside or something. But no, no sign of my car anywhere. Well, John met me on break, and he told me he wanted to get a tattoo tonight. So after work, I just drove home to change clothes since I figured he would just come pick me up and we'd go to Greer for his appointment. Well, I called Anna on the way home, and I was all whiny and complaining about my car. But I noticed when I was about to pull into the driveway at home that my mom's rental car was nowhere to be seen. So I pulled into the driveway, and BAM. There was my car, sitting right there looking all brand-new. I was just so excited. Anna probably thought I was having a stroke or something, I was just freaking out. It looks great - new headlights, shiny rims, fresh paint - it's just awesome. And everything is right where it should be - my tassel, John's name tag, my cd's, my iPod adapter - it's just perfect!

Anyway, after I got over the initial excitement of getting my car back, Mom agreed to take me over to Naia's to meet up with John. I'm surprised she agreed to it, because it involved meeting Terri, and meeting new people makes my mom a little nervous - but in a cute way haha. But it was all cool. We didn't stay long though, since John had the tattoo appointment with Becca. So we left as soon as we could and drove over to Greer.

Well, on the way there, John had to stop by the ATM and take out the money for the tattoo, and he was freaking out because he was worried about being late. We didn't rush though. But on the way there, we were just driving on the interstate and all of a sudden there was a cop behind us, with his lights on. We actually got pulled over. The cop said John had swerved over the white line, and he was just making sure everything was ok. Luckily, he only gave John a warning. But regardless, John was all shaken up. Anyway, we found Becca's house with no problem. Well, it's actually not her house, but it's where she does her tattoo work. But there were cops all over her neighborhood, too. Needless to say, John and I were pretty nervous.

Once we got inside, we both relaxed a little. Becca brought out the stencil of John's tattoo - a star - and put it on his knee. She had to move it a little, but once she got it aligned just right, she got ready to do her work. John was pretty nervous about the whole thing. I was nervous for him, to a degree. But I knew he would be fine. Becca did a great job with the star. It's a small star on the scar on his right knee. It looks really cool. And I think he's really happy with it. Anyway, once she was finished, Becca cleaned up the tattoo and the skin around it, and she washed it and put moisturizer on it. But unfortunately, we couldn't stick around because I had to be home at 12. We didn't even get to go to Waffle House tonight, because it was 11:30 when we left and it takes about a half-hour to get to my house from Greer.

Anyway, I'm going to go to bed. I'm starving and I have to get up early tomorrow so I can take a shower and do a bunch of stuff before I go to work. I won't get much sleep tonight, but oh well. I'll just take a nap on break at work. Luckily I get off at 7. But the best thing about today was getting my car back. That just means so much to me. I feel like myself again.

Anyway, goodnight.

Realist.

Man, everything's just so blah. I'll be so glad when March is over. Everybody seems like they're in a bad mood, or that they just don't care. Well, I don't care either but I'm not in a bad mood!

I wish I could've stayed over at Naia's with John. But John's in the mood to take a nap now anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. He seemed a little blah today. I guess I'm going to have to make sure that he avoids caffeine so he'll sleep at night and not be so tired during the day. I hate it when he's like that.

Omg. My mom just asked me what I wanted for dinner, like she had no clue. Hello! The whole reason I'm even home right now is because she said she would make me macaroni for dinner - the good kind. And now she acts like we never even talked about it.

I hate that I'm home right now. It's almost like I don't exist to my parents anymore. But I guess not. I'm just a bad daughter because I lied to them and I snuck around to see my boyfriend because they act like they hate him and they get mad whenever I want to spend time with him. And they act like they didn't yell at me two nights ago, but that just annoys me. And then my mom made it sound like she's not going to let me hang out with John tomorrow night. But I guess that doesn't matter. I don't get off work until 9, and he'll be tired, I'm sure. And he probably has to open Saturday. Oh well.

I'm supposed to get my car back tomorrow. If I don't, I'll be extremely mad. It's been exactly a month today since I had my wreck. I think a month without my car is long enough. Besides, driving my grandma's car is driving me insane. I can't listen to music, nothing's in the right place - it just sucks. My car is so much better. It's me. I just can't wait to get it back.

I bet my work schedule's going to suck next week, just because I need to get my service hours in for NHS. Marie will probably have me closing every night next week, because she'll probably think next week is a B-week. Oh well. My paycheck should be decent this week. Not that I can spend it, but whatever.

I need to call Anna. She wanted me to call her about Saturday night. It's opening night at Greenville Pickens. Thank God. I'm so ready for racing season. That means summer's just around the corner. Oh, wait. It doesn't matter. Summer doesn't count this year. Anyway, Anna said something about there being a problem about Saturday night. But if I call her now, it'll make my parents think I don't wanna be here with them...which, to a small degree, is the truth.

Sometimes I wonder how I functioned last year.

Y'know what I love? During the summer, when there's a thunderstorm - I love seeing the sky get really dark and scary-looking in the distance, and seeing huge streaks of lightning. That's just like the coolest thing.

I guess I'm going to go sit outside with my mom until supper's ready. I'll have to make time to write that stupid English essay later. I already have everything I need. I just need to type it all into a two-page essay. So basically, I have to shorten the 1,081-word essay that I helped John with into two pages.

Did I ever mention how glad I'll be when March is over? I mean, really. Won't everything be better once April rolls around? God, I hope so, what with spring break n' everything. Oh, except for the part where I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out. That's gonna suck. But oh well. Things should improve anyway, 'cause all the hard parts of school will be over. All I'll have to do is English and my journals for Teacher Cadets. And maybe May will be a good month. John's last day of school is like May 4th or something, and then there's prom to look forward to. But everybody knows prom's not that big of a deal. I'm just excited because I didn't go last year, or the year before that. But I guess that's silly of me. It's just my senior prom.

So what's going to happen after June 6th? What am I going to do? Right now I feel like I'm going to be completely empty. Alone. Like I'll just be there, existing and nothing else.

Did I just hear thunder?

Ugh. The water's boiling. I have to go.

Zoned out.

I feel like my mind is going in a thousand directions. I can't think about one thing without it leading to something else entirely. But I'm not hyper. I'm actually very calm. It's just inside, my mind is whirling.

I don't like the new Facebook. They need to stop changing it. My baby cousin is so cute. I think he looks like Kaela more so than Mikey. Right now anyway. I need to reorganize some of this stuff. Like, those need to go in a drawer, and I need to throw those papers away. If I go to the tanning bed, I'll take a shower before I go. I just want to sleep late. He can wake me up. Is it supposed to rain again?

I won't feel guilty. I just want to make him feel good. I wonder why that's even there. Is there anything you can do about it? I really want my car back. I'm going freaking crazy. It'll be like getting a new car, because I've completely forgotten what it's like to drive it. I miss it so much. And who gives a shit about Colby? He's a dumbass. I just want him to know what he's missing out on.

But on a different note. We could take a walk when the sun goes down. Oh, there it goes. That first wave of sleepiness. I need to turn the blanket on. So I'm definitely sleeping late tomorrow. Only five more days before I get my car back. I just want to see it.

I think all my views are changing. Stuff I couldn't see before, I see now. Stuff I could see before, I can't see now. I feel differently about everything, and I can't tell if it's good or bad.

Sometimes I wish we could all be on the same page.

Second wave just hit me. I finally got that La Bouche song out of my head. I didn't turn my blanket on. Doing that now. John's not very talkative tonight. Wonder why. It's pretty much a bummer. So I'm going to bed.

Goodnight.

Vinyl and ArmorAll.

Today was...sort of a quiet day. Work wasn't bad at all. It actually went by pretty fast. When I got off work, I went shopping with my mom. It was fun. We went to the mall, and I even tried on a couple dresses. I found this black dress that I really liked - not for prom though. But maybe for the cruise, I dunno. Anyway, we hung out at the mall for a while and I ended up with a pair of red, heart-shaped glasses and some green hair extensions. After we left the mall, we just drove around Greenville, killing time. Then we went home and convinced my dad to go to Olive Garden for dinner. It was delicious, as always. And it was really nice having dinner with them, as a family, like we used to do. For once, nobody was in a bad mood or complaining about anything (like me and my boyfriend). It was just nice. Oh, and where was John in the middle of all this, you ask? He was in Georgia with his parents visiting his aunt. But he was home by the time we came home from dinner. So when my parents and I came home, John came to my house and picked me up. We went to Naia's to watch a movie and just chill. And now I'm here, posting this.

He keeps thinking about Daytona. About all the things we can do together down there. About how much fun it'll be if I get to go. And honestly, I've been thinking about it too. Of course, the way I picture it is different from the way he pictures it, but that's only because I've never stayed where his family stays. The main things I keep picturing are simple stuff - like the beach. Like a sunrise, one where we go walking out on the beach early in the morning, hand in hand, with the cold sand beneath our feet. Or maybe a sunset, where we take that same walk right before going inside to get ready for dinner. Maybe even a walk at night, under the stars. I can hear the waves crashing, and I can picture us splashing around, getting our feet wet. And I can picture us at the Boardwalk, on the chair lift - the one that goes out over the pier. And the Slingshot. I've never ridden it before. I can see us parasailing together, with the entire Daytona shores stretched out in front of us on one side, and deep blue ocean on the other. I can especially picture us driving on the way down there, all excited and hyper because the beach is waiting for us.

I just want to go so much. I know how awesome it would be. I'll do whatever it takes to go. It'd be the perfect way to start off my summer, whether John gets the camp job or not.

I'm really looking forward to the next couple months. April and May are going to be awesome, I think. I'm especially looking forward to going to Joanna with Anna and her parents for the big moonbounce job. We go every year. Well, we started going the year I was a freshman, and we've been going ever since. It's so cool down there. It's such a family-oriented place. And the people are so nice. I just love getting up early every spring, walking outside onto the grass that's all wet with dew, and getting all the equipment loaded up on the trailer. And the ride down there's always fun. It's usually me, Anna, and her parents. Donald rode with us a couple times. But we always blare music and laugh and goof off the whole way. Joanna's an awesome little town though. It's so small, you could look both ways and see the whole thing, but it's so neat at the same time. There's a train track, where a train comes through about every half hour. And there's the main street - Main Street, I believe it's called. They have a parade there every year, and this big, old, red fire engine is always at the front. It's so cool. And during the parade, the participants throw out candy to all the people in the crowd.

I think it's going to be fun this year, too. John gets to come. And I guess Stephen will be there. But I think we can all manage to get along. I just hope John can enjoy it like I do. I want him to see the stuff I do - or well, used to do. Stuff that makes me...me, I guess you could say. And we all say (by 'we all', I mean Anna, her parents and I) that moonbounces are evil and that we hate the work, but honestly, I love the feeling of working hard. Yes, moonbounces have that weird, vinyl-and-ArmorAll-combination smell, and you sweat a lot when you roll them up, and they weigh a lot, but it's a good feeling when you work really hard all day and then climb up into the truck (Big Red) and turn the air conditioner on wide-open (or roll the windows down, take your pick) and just let your mind wander on the way home. Plus, with the moonbounces, you're mainly working with kids. It's really not that bad. I just can't wait to go again this year.

And prom - that's another thing I'm looking forward to. But I haven't been thinking about it as much lately because I'm pretty excited about getting my car back and going to Joanna. I'm trying my best to keep my mind focused on the here-and-now. We're not guaranteed the future, y'know.

Anyway, I'm going to call it a night. I have to work tomorrow from 10 to 3. Lucky me.

Goodnight.

Cloudy day.

This whole WiFi thing is pretty neat haha. Right now, I'm sitting at The Twisted Bean in Powdersville, waiting on John to go on break. And I just realized that I can actually see the Bi-Lo parking lot from here, so if he comes outside to get buggies or something, I'd probably be able to see him. Anyway, the reason I'm here and not at home enjoying my own WiFi is because yesterday afternoon, some construction workers were working on my road and they drilled a hole into the water main. So we ended up not having any water last night for about five hours.Well, in the process of breaking the water main, somehow they also screwed up our phone lines, so our landline phone and our Internet aren't working. Bummer, huh?

Well, today has been relatively quiet - for a Friday the 13th. Kellie was back at school this morning, finally. She'd missed a couple days, and I was starting to get worried about her. Turns out she had a bit of a cold. But I let her borrow my Spanish notes so she wouldn't get behind. Anyway, I went to the tanning bed as soon as I got out of school. I had a nice little 15-minute nap. And I ended up napping again when I got home haha. After I woke up, I made some macaroni for lunch, washed dishes, and got my clothes ready for work. Then I came to Powdersville. John should be going on break soon.

Oh, and I'm pretty happy right now because school's out Monday AND Tuesday. I get a four-day weekend! And no school on Tuesday means no English. I plan on spending that day with John, since it's St. Patrick's Day. We'll probably go downtown and take pictures and be all decked out in green. It'll be fun. Monday, I plan on sleeping in - probably til 10 or so. I'd like to work on my English homework - namely the poetry essay - so I'm hoping John can come over and we can work on that stuff and get it out of the way. Or maybe we can go to the library and work on it. Regardless, I plan on doing something productive while school's out. At least on Monday. As far as Tuesday goes, I plan on just goofing off and having fun.

John really should be going on break soon. It's almost 1:30. And I keep smelling his cologne, the Bone Daddy stuff. I think there's some on my jacket. Not that I'm complaining, of course. I thought about going over to Bi-Lo, but that would be a bad idea. I'm going to end up getting him in trouble if I keep going over there. I'd just like to see him before I go to work, since I have to close tonight.

Oh, and guess what? I get my car back a week from today! I'm so excited. It's going to look brand new. I can't wait to see it. Anyway, I think I just saw John, so I'm going to go, since he'll probably want to go to McDonald's.

Move along.

Well, I was actually planning on posting this Monday night, or last night. And I'm not quite in the mood to post tonight because I was seriously hoping to see John again tonight, but my mom wouldn't let me go to Naia's. So I'm a little blah.

Anyway, let's see...well, Monday was a pretty busy day. I got out of school at 9:50, and I went to the tanning bed before I went home. After I got home, I changed clothes and did a couple chores while I waited to hear from John. I finally heard from him right before 2:00, and he picked me up and we went to McDonald's to wait on Pam. She finally showed up, all upset because she'd run into Troy. So we sat at McDonald's for a little bit while she vented and cried and told us what all was going on. the we drove to the pasture across from Troy's house so Pam could show me and John what to do when we feed the horses. It was interesting, to say the least. John and I were going all over the place while we were out in the pasture, but it was actually pretty fun. But in the middle of all the horse stuff, I had to go to my NHS meeting at school. So John took me and we were rushing big time. Everything worked out though, since I got signed in on the NHS attendance sheet. So after the meeting, John and I went back over to Pam's to finish up with the horses. When we were done, we headed on over to Pickens to John's grandmother's house, after we stopped at my house to grab a drink.

Grandma's house was great. She made us homeade macaroni & cheese for dinner, but while it was cooking, John took me down to the waterfall on his grandparents' property. It was so beautiful down there. And peaceful. There's a little cabin down there too, with a big deck and everything. The waterfall was so beautiful though. We even took our shoes off and got our feet wet and took pictures. It was great. And it was so relaxing. For the first time in a long time, my mind was completely at east. I wasn't thinking about anything - except the water, I guess. It's just funny, because a couple years ago, I would've been the girl who stood by the water dreaming up all the ways a guy could propose down there or something sappy like that. But not Monday. Monday, I didn't think about anything except the water and how beautiful and peaceful it was. And John being there just made it perfect.

Anyway, we stayed down there and took pictures for a little bit, just goofing off. It was really fun. But then we decided to go back to the house since the macaroni was probably finished. And our timing was perfect. Grandma had just finished making it when we got back. It was really delicious. And while we ate, John's grandparents sat and talked to us. It was really comfortable. But unfortunately we had to cut it short because I had to be home at 9:00. Granted, I made it home twenty minutes late, but my mom didn't freak out like I thought she was going to. She gave me a simple lecture, but there was no yelling or anything major. Needlesss to say, I was surprised.

Yesterday wasn't too bad. It was a B-day, but it was ok. And I went to English last night. Stayed the whole time, too. It was actually a decent class. We acted out plays n' stuff. And I got some other homework done while I was there. After English, I went to Bi-Lo to see John. I tried to make it as quick as possible, since I didn't tell my mom which store I was going to, but she found out anyway. So she got mad and gave me another lecture. But again, no yelling. We worked everything out.

Today wasn't all that bad either. I got out of school early, and then I went to the tanning bed and then to Walgreen's to get my picture made for my passport. After that, I met John at his house for a few minutes, then we came over to my house. We had macaroni for lunch and just watched TV for a little bit, until I had to go to work. I hated having to leave him though. But work wasn't too bad tonight. It was actually pretty painless. And I got a lot of compliments on my name, which I thought was kinda' weird, 'cause it's not April yet. It's still March. Anyway, I stopped by Bi-Lo on my way home, and then I came home and had dinner with my parents. I even did the dishes for my mom. But then John texted me to ask if I could come to Naia's (which was staged, by the way), and my mom said no and killed my mood a little. But it's all good. I'm talking to him on AIM now, and plus I saw him at Bi-Lo earlier. And he uploaded our pictures from the waterfall on Monday to his Facebook profile just a minute ago. They're hilarious. It's making me wish I was hanging out with him right now. But unfortunately, his dad just cut off his Internet. So I guess I'm going to go to bed.

Goodnight.

Come sail away with me.

Man, I feel great today. The sun's shining, the weather's warm. I'm ready to go to Daytona. I'm so ready for the beach. When I was in the tanning bed a little while ago, I kept imagining that I was lying on the beach. I keep picturing myself out on the beach with John, swimming in the ocean with him, building sandcastles - just goofing off. I keep thinking about that feeling you get after you've been swimming all day and then you come inside and take a shower and chill. Or like when you've been out in the sun all day and your face feels all tight later that night. When you go out to eat in the evening and you have that 'beach bum' look - that look like you're half-way sunburned and you're exhausted from having so much fun out on the beach. John really got me thinking about that when I met him on break today. He's just such a wonderful boyfriend. He really is amazing. And I can't wait to go to Daytona with him. I will do everything in my power to make sure I can go.

And right now, I can't stand my parents. They're such mood killers. They make a big deal about every little thing. My dad just came in here and fussed at me about John going through my mom's cell phone, like it's some big deal. Oh my gosh! It's a freaking cell phone. It's not like he meant anything by it! Gah, my dad gets on my nerves. And honestly, I'm glad I have to work until 11 tonight, 'cause I don't wanna sit around and deal with him for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I have to go get ready for work. I hope John and I can hang tomorrow. I'd really like to go to the park or something. Just anything outside. Anyway, gotta go.

Nothing could come between us.

Well, once again, sorry I haven't posted in a couple days. It's been....a little busy. Mainly just work and school, but still. So let's see...

Thursday - well, honestly I don't remember much from Thursday. Oh, yeah. I went to lunch with my grandma, then I went to Clemson with John so he could turn in his application for the summer camp job. After we got back, I went home and took a nap. When my parents got home, I told them I didn't go to Clemson so they would let me go out to dinner with John and Naia. It was...nice. Naia wasn't in the best mood, but it was still ok. We went to Cracker Barrel. Afterwards, we went to Verizon to get Naia's phone fixed. Then we just went back to her house, then John had to take me home.

Friday was a long day. Kayla and I went to West End Elementary School for Teacher Cadets, but I had a flat tire on the way there. Luckily, my dad was off work and was able to come fix it. School was just boring Friday. But I actually paid attention in math, which is rare. After school, I had to go straight to work. But luckily I got off at 7. John, on the other hand, had to close Friday night. I stopped by his Bi-Lo on my way home from work, and he said he might be getting off early. But that didn't happen. He got off at 11, but my mom let me meet him at Waffle House.

While we were there, he told me that one of the guys from work was asking him about the whole hickey thing. He assumed that John's not a virgin anymore, and then he asked "How was it?" and John told him, "It was awesome." That irritated me a little. Only because, the way I see it, we're not doing anything like that, and even if we were, it's nobody else's business. Plus, everybody makes it sound like sex is some kind of game, and I don't wanna be thought of as a prize. Anyway, John thought I was mad about it, and to be honest, I was at first. But only for a little bit. By yesterday morning, it didn't really matter.

Yesterday was a relatively good day. My mom took me to the tanning bed, and then she and I hung out all morning before I went to work. We even went out to lunch. I had to be at work at 1, and I worked until 8. John met me on break though, so it wasn't all that bad. And he picked me up from work. We were going to go to Whole Foods and have pizza for dinner, but they were closing when we got there. So he just took me home so I could change clothes. After I changed clothes, Mom took us for a ride in the rental car, then I went to the gas station to put gas in my grandma's car. Then, John and I left and went to Applebee's. It wasn't as great as it usually is, but it was still ok. After Applebee's, we went to Wal-Mart. That was fun. I tried on several shirts that I might go back and get for Daytona. Anyway, after we left Wal-Mart, we went to Waffle House. That was fun too. My mood was definitely better than it was when we first went out. Plus, I got my curfew extended to 12:45, so that was even better.

Yesterday was also my six-month anniversary with John. We've been together for six whole months. That's pretty awesome, I must say. And I hate that I was in a bad mood when he picked me up from work. I was just tired and blah from work. But I think the night ended on a good note.

Today has been relatively laid back. I have to work this afternoon at 4, and I don't get off until 11, but I get to meet John on break today, which I haven't done in a while. And I'm hoping that my mom will let him come over tomorrow and have lunch, since we probably won't get to hang out the rest of the week. Not Tuesday anyway. And maybe not Wednesday, since I'm working 3 to 8. And I have to close Friday night, which makes me mad. I don't know if Marie thinks my school schedule has changed or what, but I don't want this closing-on-Friday-nights thing to become a regular thing. I love my Friday nights. They're better than Saturday nights. Always. So I need Marie to know that if Friday is an A-day, I want to work during the day.

Anyway, I'm going to go. Hopefully John's going on break soon, and I need to get my clothes ready for work. I'll try to post again later.

I can only imagine.

Today was a rough day. The funeral for Priscilla and Lydia was today. It was really a good service. The drama team at our old school performed "There Is A Fountain", but before the service began, all the girls from the drama team walked out and placed a rose in each casket. That was the hardest thing I've ever done, or will ever do - that, and performing "There Is A Fountain" up on the stage without Priscilla and Lydia performing with us. Seeing their mom on the front row, and looking down from the stage and seeing the caskets there while we performed...it was almost too much for me. There was even a slide show at the end of the church service set to the song "I Can Only Imagine". That's what really got to everybody. Anyway, the graveside service was really short. But their headstones were beautiful. They each had a huge stone, with a mural on it. It was like a mural of Jesus, with a sunrise and doves, and each stone had their names and birthdays. They were absolutely beautiful. But Renee (their mom) didn't handle it well at all. It was hard for me to see her like that. The whole thing was just....overwhelming. I'm awfully glad John was there, though. I know I keep thanking him and telling him I feel bad for bringing him with me, but I seriously don't know if I could've done it without him. I guess I just prefer his comfort to anybody else's. I'm just lucky I have him.

I skipped English tonight, so I could go to dinner with him and Naia. I really missed her while she was gone to Georgia. She took us to Olive Garden. It was nice. And the hickey thing wasn't an issue, which was good. Anyway, I had to be home at 9, so we didn't really get to hang out after dinner, but it was still nice getting to see her and spend time with her and John.

When I got home tonight, my mom was being her usual self - pissy because I'd been with John (for what she thought was only half an hour). So of course, we got into it and she ended up telling me that she thinks John is possessive and that I'm obsessed with him so I ended up telling her that I wish she could just be happy that I have somebody in my life who makes me happy. Then I told her that I've just been all out of whack ever since I had the wreck and that everything seems so overwhelming right now, and she said she's just having a hard time because I'm stressed out and I'm growing up and it was just one big emotional wreck because I just had to start crying. But I think I just got upset because everything finally just hit me all at once - the funeral, the fact that they're gone - everything. And my mom told me that Priscilla had something about me on her MySpace profile. So I looked at it, and under the "Own Your Friends" application, she has my picture, and her note says, "I love you April you're my bestie and always will be." I didn't even realize it was there, because it hadn't shown up on her profile before.

I just miss her. I'm going to miss hanging out with her. I'm going to miss seeing her out at Greenville-Pickens on Saturday nights this summer. I'm going to miss her laugh, and her hugs. I can't believe she's gone. I know she's in a better place, but it's just so hard to let go. And I'm going to miss Lydia just as much. She was always there, right there with Priscilla. They were inseparable. And Lydia was always smiling too. They were just always so happy. And the pastors were right - they loved everybody, unconditionally. And they'll be missed. They'll be loved and missed, unconditionally.

Rest in peace, Priscilla and Lydia. You're both beautiful, amazing young girls, and you will be missed greatly. Nobody understands why you were taken at such a young age, we all know that everything happens for a reason, and I know you're in a better place now. Both of you girls will always have a special place in my heart. I love you Priscilla and Lydia.

White wash.

Wow. I have a lot to write about. To any of my readers, I apologize for not posting Friday or yesterday. It's been an interesting few days, to say the least.

I guess I'll start with Friday. I think it was the worst day I've had in a very long time. It started out fine, since my Teacher Cadet class met at Chik-Fil-A for breakfast. But while we were there, Kellie texted me to inform me that somebody had stolen my parking space. So when I got to school, I had to go all over the place to get it straightened out - while it was pouring down rain outside. So by the time I got to second period, I was soaking wet. Then, we had a test in Econ. Ali asked Mr. Massingill if there would be two sets of tests to keep people from cheating. Mr. Massingill said no, that if we wanted to take a chance and assume the person next to us is smarter than we are, to go right ahead. He then told Ali that he would try that on our side of the room, insinuating that Zeb, Oscar, Austin, Alex and I were not smart. So that just pissed me off. Anatomy was ok, just boring. And then I had a math test, which I probably bombed. So I was just ready to leave school, go home, and take a nap. But unfortunately, I had to be at work at 5, so I had to rush home, change clothes, and go straight to Bi-Lo so I could deposit my check before work.

Work was fine. But around 7, Anna called me. I texted her to find out what was up, and she said to call her ASAP. So I did, and she told me that there had been a car wreck in Anderson County, that two people had been killed, and that they might be two of our really good friends. Well, a couple hours later, Anna texted me back, saying that it was confirmed that the two girls killed in the wreck were our friends, Priscilla and Lydia. Priscilla was 15, and Lydia was 14. I was pretty upset. I held it together until I got off work though. And luckily I got off about 20 minutes early. I met John at Waffle House - he'd come by the store before I got off and asked if I wanted to hang out there. And I'm glad I went. I was upset when I got there - yeah, crying, sniffling, the whole nine yards. John handled it well, though. He made me feel worlds better. So at least my horrible day ended on a good note.

Yesterday was better. Much better. I had to work, but it wasn't all that bad. And the weather sucked - it was all rainy and yucky - but it wasn't unbearable. And I got to hang out with John last night, which was definitely the best part. We went to the mall for a while, then to Bi-Lo, then to Waffle House. And let's just say I was really distracted last night, but in a good way. He kept my mind occupied enough. But now there's probably a million rumors going around at Bi-Lo about us. He has a hickey. Granted, people don't know that we didn't actually do anything, but who am I kidding? I know how people think.

Today seemed to happen in fast forward. I worked from 10 to 3, and Bi-Lo was completely swamped. It was the busiest, fastest 5 hours I've ever seen. And the weather was really bad today. It rained all morning, and after my lunch break, it started sleeting. Then around 5 this afternoon, it started snowing. It's been snowing ever since. We got like 3 and a half inches at my house within a two-hour period. I even made a snow angel! It's just awesome. Everything's white. It's so beautiful. And the best part is....no school tomorrow! So hopefully John will get to come over and hang out. He's also going with me to the visitation service for Priscilla and Lydia tomorrow afternoon. And I'm glad he's going. It'll make it a lot easier, having him there. And Anna can just get over it.

Anyway, I'm in a particularly fantastic mood right now. Not quite sure why though. But I'm really in the mood to be with John. It sucks that it's already almost midnight and the roads are bad so we can't hang out. So I guess for now I'm just going to call it a night and go enjoy this mood I'm in.

Goodnight.