It just won't stop.

I don't know what's up with my mood all of a sudden. And before I go any further - no, it's not pms. I'm just blah. For some reason, when my mom said I couldn't go to McDonald's tonight, it didn't make me mad. It made me feel...sad. I guess I'm just tired of asking and hearing her say no. It disappoints me that she's still not used to John always being around.

I've had 'Santa Monica' by Theory of a Deadman on repeat for like, the last 30 minutes. No kidding. It's just an easy song to listen to when you're in this kind of mood. It makes me think of Daytona Beach, since I listened to it so much while I was there over the summer. Every time I hear it, it's like I can still feel the way the wind blew at night when I would sit out on the balcony and watch the ocean - the way its warmth touched my skin, how it was so peaceful. I'd give anything to be there right now.

I just have this lump in my throat. I'm really tired, but I'm not sure why. I haven't done anything today. And not only am I tired, but I feel like I could cry at any given moment. About what, I really don't know. The feeling's just there.

I keep having second thoughts about this week. I have this feeling that absolutely nothing is going to go right. Again, I'm not sure why. I'm just going ignore that feeling though. Don't wanna' freak myself out or anything.

It's freezing cold in the house. Well, maybe it's just my room. It always seems like it's a few degrees colder in here during the winter. But tonight, it's really uncomfortable.

I wish I didn't have to do any chores tomorrow. I wish I could just sleep in and lay around and be lazy all day tomorrow since I don't have school. It would be nice, especially with John here. But oh well. I owe it to my mom. I just know I can't use the excuse that I did chores for her to hang out with John. She won't see it that way. She probably won't let me do anything with him since I have school Tuesday. Nevermind the fact that I get out early.

Anyway, I think I'm going to call it a night. I guess I just need to sleep off this mood so I can get something accomplished tomorrow.

Goodnight.